says? Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Men's Giant Turban Costume Accessory. May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. (Jews never kneel in prayer.). So we see that as we get closer and closer to the Messianic Era when the world will go back to a perfected state, curses are reverting all around us just as the Vilna Gaon predicted. A: De-frost. This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. CARNAC: May a swarm of gay chiggers open a disco on your What is missing here is his delivery. [1] The Question: Because she is so old, what does Nancy Pelosis breath smell like? A: A broken water pipe, Telly Savalas and Chuck Barris. Get Image Page 1 of 4 A: Evon Guligan. CARNAC: May a desert rat sunbathe on your radar range. Reviewed in the United States on April 2, 2015. Watch now: Free with ads. Another that I heard last night on the syndicated "Carson's Comedy Classics": "May the Swami of Baghdad squat on your fez", "May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister! , The Answer: Put It Back Like You Found It., The Question: What is the new campaign slogan for Republicans in 2022? Q: What are good directions to a urologist's office? Q: What's good advice to give a Japanese tailor? Q: What does a masseuse do to your dub-dub? A: Natural gas. QUESTION: Name a Kirk, a Turk and a jerk. sister. ", and "9W" was the answer to "Mr. Wagner, do you spell your name with a V?" skirt. While in the past it was very common for women to die in labor, it is now very rare in modern hospitals. . McMahon's closing announcement "I hold in my hand the last envelope" was always met with a loud cheer, prompting one final "curse". Q: What is a drink made with soy sauce and prune juice? If one of Carnacs jokes (often a very bad pun) generated a negative response, Carnac would give a disapproving look, then cast a comedic "Middle Eastern curse" upon the audience. Q: Name a jewel, a tool and a fool. Q: Name a lord, an award and a fraud. CARNAC: May the swami of Bagdad squat on your fez. If you are of a certain age, you might yet remember "Carnac the Magnificent", a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Function: require_once. us? A: Dustin Hoffman. Johnny Carson entertained audiences for 30 years as the host of The Tonight Show. From Carnac the Magnificent to his very close encounter with a python, heres our list of Carsons greatest moments. [Ed Ames has thrown a tomahawk across the stage, hitting a painting of a cowboy straight in the "crotch". Q: Name a Kirk, a Turk and a jerk. The character was introduced in 1964. Amazingly, we see the Vilna Gaons prediction coming true in our own times, as many of the curses mentioned in the Bible have already disappeared. Q: How did Marlon Perkins explain the rash on his thigh? Tell a friend Ask a question. Q: What price will gas be if it's under a dollar? The Answer: Dumbo, Eeyour, and Mitt Romney. Q: What do you call getting hit with a fistfull of peanuts. Line: 315 Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. . https://www.torchweb.org, Torah Outreach Resource Center of Houston, Please Patronize Our Calendar Advertisers - Full Listing. We are now officially the living who envy the dead! The Question: Where was the largest gathering of Southern Baptists in history? These jokes aren't mine, copyright on them is held by the . Ed: (Ed points to the nearest exit and hands Clarnac the first envelop and says) Envelop number 1. Q: Name three things on the endangered species list. Curses, Curses, Curses . A: E.S.T., P.M. and B.M. Get Image May your only daughter take up with a yak of another faith. A: A man with a mistress and a Russian Olympics judge. I hold in my hand these Line: 192 Sometimes Clarnac has to leave quickly. The perfect Carnac The Magnificent Johnny Carson The Tonight Show Animated GIF for your conversation. A: Deep freeze. . The Question: How did the dinosaurs become extinct? The Question: Name six fictional T.V. A client of mine was hosting a dinner party, wanted to entertain her guests by re-enacting this skit between Johnny Carson and Ed . A: 50 miles per hour. Function: view, Recurring character on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose, "Ed McMahon,'Tonight Show' Stalwart, Dies", "STERNAC THE IMPROBABLE RETURNS WITH ANSWERS ABOUT NASCAR, GAMESTOP, AND JASON KAPLAN'S DIET", Here's Johnny: Magic Moments from the Tonight Show, Race Through New York Starring Jimmy Fallon, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Carnac_the_Magnificent&oldid=1065449461. In one instance, Carnac tripped and broke the desk! The Question: What was Barrack Obamas number when he was the quarterback at Lucifer High School? Q: Name a focal that goes both ways. Q: Name the father of Mrs. Olsen's illegitamate baby. A: Double hernia. Q: What is the total of Bo Derek and Phyllis Diller? , The Question: Name a good local divorce law firm. Q: Name a leak, a Greek and a freak. . Longtime sidekick Ed McMahon ritualistically and bombastically introduced the Carnac routines. A: Kaleidoscope. (Joke only good for Central Mississippi folks). ANSWER: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. Adam and Eve had more problems than that forbidden apple. The Answer: Kids, drunk people and tight yoga pants. ), The Question: Who is the largest conservative in the Republican Party? A: Milk and honey. A: Black and white and twenty feet tall. A: KKK, IRS, UCLA. A: Pot luck. Q: Name a bake-off, a hiccough and a ripoff. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Can't decide? A: Roman Gabriel, Lance Ramsell and Howrd Cosell A: Skalliwags. The comedy came from an unexpected question following a seemingly straightforward answer. girlfriend. The Answer: Under Willie Brown and through Joe Bidens colon. Q: What do you call it when old topless dancers refuse to Discover and Share the best GIFs on Tenor. As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. Q: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. A: Lorne Green. A: Peter Pan. Necessity dictates the insertion of an appropriate disclamatory proclamation into this section of this missive, both for assuredness of legality, and to satisfy my lust for bombast. Q: What do call the clone of a guy named Cy? A: Mop and Glow. , What do diapers and politicians have in common? Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate. Hand made. These curses were always absurd, and many of them involved yaks, as in: "May an unclean yak sit on your dinner." "May a sick yak leave a gift in your sock drawer." "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your . [applause]. A: 2001. "Opens envelope for question: "Name two hockey players and a hockeypuck. The Carnac character and routine also closely resemble Ernie Kovacs Mr. The Johnny Carson Show. A: Eight is enough. CARNAC: May a weird doctor join you at the hump of a camel. A: "The Dumplings." Q: Name the only three things you can afford to eat Audience reaction played a major role in the skit. Q: Name two words that have no meaning. However, it was his allusion to the old college cheer that gained him the loudest and longest laugh of the night. Line: 68 Message: Undefined variable: user_membership, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php In fact, had Bilaam been successful in his attempt to curse us, the Jewish people would have been destroyed, G-d forbid. Ed: Often times, thats exactly what Clarnac gets. Amazon's Choice for carnac hat. Q: What happens when your lorne rots? Q: Who was just arrested for impersonating a baseball team? The longest laugh ever recorded was given to "Sis Boom Bah," which was the answer to "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes" and resulted in both Carson and McMahon breaking character to laugh as well. Q: Who are the candidates for mayor of Los Angeles? Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. (the curse). May your only daughter take up with a yak of another. May you fall in the outhouse just as a regiment of Ukrainians finishes aprune stew and twelve barrels of beer. The resulting jokes often involved puns or wordplay; for example, "The La Brea Tar Pits" was the answer to "What do you have left after eating the La Brea Tar Peaches? MORE OF THE BEST OF CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT. [1] As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. A: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign CARNAC: May a crazed Arab repairman board up your We have in the building tonight that great visitor from the East. A: O'Hare. Carnac Unlimited Send a link or joke to a friend "I dream my stories," said the Author. Alas, poor Yorick, dont forget your American Express card! Clarnac: Well see how it goes, if Clarnac can find his reading glasses. a #2 mayonnaise . A long running bit on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show.Carson would appear in a turban and cloak as "Carnac the Magnificent" . , The Question: How do you say Fauci in Mandarin? The Question: Whats the name of Bidens black, female affirmative action nominee to the Supreme Court? A: Pipe dream. A: Rat pack. I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. Q: What noise do sheep make when they laugh? Next Johnny will retaliate with a "Comedic Curse" such as: "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts" or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister" or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" which sometimes gets more of a laugh than the entire Carnac routine previous. Line: 478 5 results for "carnac the magnificent" RESULTS. May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. ANSWER: Gatorade. Description. A: Cheetah, Leon Spinks and the American taxpayer. . Q: What do you say when calling your quat? A little hard to keep on. "May your finger get stuck in your nose, and the nail continue to grow", (I have forgotten the origin of this one). Q: What do you call not getting busted? A: High rollers. Jokes would also be topical; for instance, "Over 105 in Los Angeles" (presumably referring to the temperature) instead led to "Under the Reagan plan, how old would you have to be to collect Social Security?" sister's hope chest. The Answer: Because the employees are smoking the 11 herbs and spices. Pat McCormickwrote some of the zaniest Carnac material. A: The 11th Hour. Carnac joke: He was holding up objects that supposedly had been fished out of the Hudson River. A: The Laughing Policeman. The Question: Whats the difference between a dollar bill and LeBron James? A: Madame Kitty. (Crowd applauds) #10. Food is produced in abundance with machines that allow just a few people to operate massive farms with ease. "Carnak: Do-whacka-doEd: Do-whacka-doCarnack: What do you look for when you're hunting do-whackas?Carnak: Dippity-doEd: Dippity-doCarnak: What collects on your dippity in the morning?A. hope chest. A: England, France and Greece. The Answer: NBC, ABC, CBS, MSNBC, CNN, PBS, FOX News and a Crowbar. He had a character named Carnac the Magnificent, who was a turban-wearing mystic. . juice? ", Conan O'Brien's Forehead Takes Over for Jay Leno's Chin. A: A mule, a horse, Billy Carter. So how does this connect to the weekly Torah portion, you ask? Question: "What does a doctor use to look at your kaleido?" Stumble It! Carson . -- -------------------------------------------------------------"they forcibly extracted the word 'but' from his vocabulary, and locked him in a room with 10 economists"-------------------------------------------------------------. The one that had McMahon and Carson nearly rolling on the floor with sustained laughter was Sis boom bah. A: A full moon folks who ran "The Tonight Show" in the 70's. car? Legal experts contacted by Yahoo News said the idea of Trump telepathically declassifying government documents is absurd. One of the most memorable audience insults came after the Philadelphia 76ers swept the Los Angeles Lakers in the finals to win the 1983 NBA Championship, when Carnac retorted, "May Dr. J slam dunk your cat." seen them before. 2006 | CC. Q: What holds up Oral Roberts' pants? May the bird of paridise fly up your noseMay an elephant caress you with its toesMay your wife be plaqued with runners in her hoseMay the bird of paridise fly up your nose, Ron Williams (not Tom Nadas, but an incredible simulation)--, UUCP: {decvax,linus,ihnp4,uw-beaver,allegra,utzoo}!utcsri!tomCSNET: tom@toronto, "Look over there, a dry ice factory. [1] May your children not forget you as they kneel to pray. Dont break the concentration of the mystic from the East, or he will place a curse on you! A: "Sorry bub, no pub." Or fastest delivery Mon, Mar 6 . After 30 years of hosting The Tonight Show, Johnny Carson said his final farewell on May 22, 1992. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. Key'n'Stroke. May a diseased yak leave a gift on your new carpet. A: A potato, Burt Reynolds and Sgt. There are more than 10 alternatives to Carnac for Mac, Windows, Linux and Xfce. juice? This is a very exciting evening for us at ______________________. Q: Describe the sound you make when you break loose from a The Question: Whats a great name for a proctologist? There are a couple of ideas I've had to make this and I'm not sure which one would work best - and possibly there are other . Make your own images with our Meme Generator or Animated GIF Maker. Carnac the Magnificent: Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.One of Carson's most well-known . A: Pussy Willow. A: The Loch Ness Monster. Q: How much time has Governor Brown spent in California Q: What did the dead raccoon say in his will? The Question: What words of encouragement can you give to a person with a kidney stone? The Question: What do you call a guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary? A: Rub-a-dub-dub. ANSWER: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign promises. The Question: What are Kim Kardashians measurements? The Question: What is the name of Trumps new Vodka? , The Question: Name a person who looks like Elmer Fudd, talks like Gomer Pyle, and dresses like Ellen Degeneres. parents. lets have a big round of applause for Clarnac the Magnificent. Along the theme of reverting curses, there is a fascinating mesorah (tradition) handed down from the Vilna Gaon (1720-1797) that all the curses that mankind was cursed after Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, will be reverted and changed back to normal at the end of time, except for the curse of the Serpent, who represents the evil force of Amalek, and whose curse shall remain in place until his utter and total destruction. Q: Name a Fudd, a Mudd and a dud. A: "Hi diddly dee." Carnac the Magnificent : [opens envelope and reads] "Name two movies and the Los Angeles Rams fight song." Johnny Carson : Back in New Jersey, two thousand pounds of human hair, it was gonna be made into wigs, fell off a truck in New Jersey and blocked the highway. ft. coverage regular price $109.95 Calendar & Tip Sheet January Calendar January Tipsheet Marty's Acre Drinks on the Acre February 13 - 5:30 PM The 2nd Monday of every month we invite you to join us on location at Marty's Acre to talk gardening and enjoy a selection of brew chosen by Marty. Get Image May your prize bull hate cows. Carnac: May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bedpan. Scope and Content Script (Annotated "Ray") Box 4, Folder 44. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. A: Touch and Go. A: Unleash. Q: Describe the five finalists in the Miss Universe ", My curse: May the bluebird of happiness take careful aim as it flies over you.-- Dave Montuori (Dr.ZRFQ) UUCP: !decvax!mcnc!ncsu!uvacs!damUVa CS dept, C'ville, Va. CSNET: dam@virginia, "May Allah blow sand in your Preparation H.". 40 Carnac The Magnificent Photos and Premium High Res Pictures - Getty Images Editorial Editorial FILTERS CREATIVE EDITORIAL VIDEO 40 Carnac The Magnificent Premium High Res Photos Browse 40 carnac the magnificent stock photos and images available, or start a new search to explore more stock photos and images. Carnac: May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your underpants. The Question: Describe the U.S. economy under the Obiden administration. What do you look for when you're tracking three whackas? A: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. QUESTION: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? Q: Name a spud, a stud and a dud. Q: What are two bad names for a laxative? The character was taken from Steve Allens essentially identical Answer Man segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host ofThe Tonight Showin the 1950s. [8], Since the 1980s, Howard Stern has paid tribute to Carnac the Magnificent, with his own skit called Sternac the Improbable. lizard. I'm being held prisoner on a God-forsaken island! A: Beethoven's Fifth. Zippo? A: The American condor, the American eagle and the American In 1987, Myrtle Young came on The Tonight Show to show off her rare collection of potato chips. Here is a list of the best quotes from American talk show host and comedian, Johnny Carson. . In article <10@udenva.UUCP> sho@udenva.UUCP (Mr. Blore) writes. A: Flyswatter. The Question: Name three famous puppets. Price and other details may vary based on product size and color. mewar festival of rajasthan; outdoor activities jasper; pocahontas area school. The famous sage and soothsayer, all-knowing, all-seeing, all-omniscient, a weekend proctologist, and former Twitter advisor for President Donald J. Trump. Q: What do you get on your fon if you leave it out all The character would emerge from behind the show's curtain accompanied by Indian music, and make his way towards the desk, where he would invariably stumble on the step in front of the desk and lose his balance. A: "The Front." A: Sha-na-na. Q: What should the oil companies' new slogan be? Q: What's the major cause of divorce? The Question: What was the third grade to Jackson councilman Kenny Stokes? ANSWER: Dustin Hoffman. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. Carpenter During Sweeps 1984. Ron Toth, Jr., Proprietor 72 Charles Street Rochester, New Hampshire 03867-3413 Phone: 1-603-335-2062 Email: ron.toth@timepassagesnostalgia.com Is that about right, sir? Q: What's an Orange County toothpaste? Story. Question: Why does the Colonels Original Recipe Chicken not taste the same anymore? Commissary. BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your jock strap. 99 $28.11 $28.11. [9], File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php The Question: How much did Clarnac lose on his 30 day diet? As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed and kept in a #2 size mayonnaise jar on Dr. Faucis porch since noon today. I used a couple of small binder clips to make it snugger so it would not fall off. A: The Newlywed Game. The Question: Name one of Washington DCs many famous oxymorons. Another ancient Biblical curse that seems to have reverted back to normal is Noahs curse of his son Ham that his descendants (who lived in Africa) shall be slaves to the descendants of Shem and Japheth (who lived in Europe and Asia) - see Genesis 9:25 as slavery in the modern area has been virtually abolished, and even racial discrimination has been greatly diminished thanks to the Civil Rights movement. Q: Name three things that go to the bathroom outdoors. (In one episode, technicians rigged Carsons desk to fall apart when Carnac fell into it. . Clarnac: Get your mind out of the gutter. A: Keep your eyes on your prize. Q: What's the name of a drive-in massage parlor? Q: Name the only two people who aren't sick of hearing Q: What do you do if a Chinese laundry ruins your shirts? Related Topics. Find Funny GIFs, Cute GIFs, Reaction GIFs and more. Q: What does President Carter say to Billy on Air Force ED: I liked that but I seem to be the only one. Actually, I have to admit reading it in the book "Superman: Last Son ofKrypton" (which is [very] loosely based on the movie) in which Lex Luthor(responding to the question "You told me your second favorite pastime.What's first?") May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt. A: Grape Nuts. Our users have written 2 comments and reviews about Carnac, and it has gotten 25 likes. $12.37 delivery Tue, Mar 7 . . The Answer: They found no brain activity. Hoffa. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. violence? Welcome once again, O Great Sage. ", "Sis boom bah." A: R-O-L-A-I-D-S. A: Trapper John. Q: Who old do you have to be to date Princess Margaret? A: Planter's Punch. http://www.torchweb.org/torah_detail.php?id=470, torchweb@gmail.com Q: What is it that Ronald Reagan keeps trying to hide? , The Question: What is the name the new Disney fat stripper movie. Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. , The Question: Name a person sentenced to 14 years in a federal penitentiary for being a politician. -- Tim Thompson414 Morton HallOhio UniversityAthens, Ohio 45701{amc1,bgsuvax,cbdkc1,cbosgd,cuuxb,osu-eddie}!oucs!tim. Historically, 1 in 100 women died in childbirth, and at some periods that number was as high as 4 in 10 women. your only sister. A: The Sugarland Express. Q: Name a Kristofferson. Q: What would you see if Orson Welles dropped his pants? , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop! After Carnac said an answer, McMahon would frequently repeat it in a booming voice ostensibly as a help to the audience setting up a sneer, putdown, or some other comic reaction from Carson. The crowd is hostile. QUESTION: What does the president of Nestea use when his May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your hope chest. Lot Closed - Sold Price: Estimate: $ 400 - $ 600. Q: Describe a stoned bowling team. Share. May you be blessed with a son so smart he learns the mourner's prayerbefore his Bar-Mitzvah speech. Q: How do you spell kkkirsucla? A: Henry R. Block. A: "Breaking Away" and "Here's Boomer." A: Sanford and Son and Ed McMahon. , The Question: Why didnt Mrs. Franklin have any kids? More Quotes from Carnac the Magnificent show! former Twitter advisor for President Donald J. Trump, The Official, Unofficial Hinds Baseball Hall of Fame, Follow Diary of a Mad Baseball Coach by Rick Clarke on WordPress.com. (Crowd cheers) #10. Carnac the Magnificent was one of the highlights of the Johnny Carson Show. Price starting at $87.97 for basic 5,000 sq. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php Tenor.com has been translated based on your browser's language setting. My favorite Carnac(sp?) Organized in groups of 10. Forum Novelties. Q: What should be posted on Howard Cosell's tongue? Well, as it turns out, Parshas Balak starts off with this wicked king named Balak trying to get this wicked mystic named Bilaam to cast a curse upon the Jewish people. stops. A: That darn cat. Q: What do you call a military coup led by General A: 2001. The Question: Name the only three people in the world making any money off going green. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. The Question: What does Stacy Abrams call Tuesday? car industry. A: Superbowl. I added more feathers, mardi gras beads and glue on fake jewels to . A: Kumquat. I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. Q: How many hospitals has Evil Knievel been in? Previous. Shriver. While all were memorable, its her duet with Carson thats particularly unforgettable.
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